The story bellow, "Purple Ivory," is a little long and the ending is frustrating for some. HAHA! That's mostly why I tell it. However there are alternate story lines. Somewhere in the story I have told it with the boy accessing the internet and having the computer he was using burn out or crash beyond repair.
I have also ended the story with the old lady (instead of whore) asking for a Coke from across the street. That ends with the moral being, "Look both ways before you cross the street." The reason I changed it for this posting was that I just watched "Thank You for Smoking." Good flick if every care to see it.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Purple Ivory
Purple Ivory
Written by Matt Walker
A story once told to me from another now forgotten.
On the way to the bus stop a boy saw in a neighbor’s yard a sign that read in large simple print, “Purple Ivory.” The boy passed the sign and stopped suddenly realizing he had no idea what the sign meant. He stared at the sign for a short while and without a solution he continued to the bus stop to wait for his morning ride to school.
Already waiting at the bus stop was the girl the boy had had a crush on for some time now. They said their hellos and chatted for awhile before the bus showed up. Just as the bus stopped the boy asked the girl about the sign he had seen earlier. He said, “I saw this sign earlier and I have no idea what it meant.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the girl.
“Purple Ivory.”
The bus doors opened and without warning she burst into tears and ran onto the bus screaming. Completely stunned the boy stood there before the open doors of the bus. The bus driver looked back at the still hysteric girl than looked down at the boy and ask what had happen. The boy snapped to attention and climbed onto the bus just as it was starting to rain. The bus driver stopped the boy at the top step and asked, “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked her about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the bus driver.
“Purple Ivory.”
The bus driver turned in his seat, lifted his leg and kicked the boy to the sidewalk. The boy landed in a puddle as the bus doors closed and the bus sped away. The rain was starting to get worse when the boy got up from the puddle and began walking to school. He arrived to class dripping wet when his teacher stopped him. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the teacher.
“Purple Ivory.”
The students in class gasped and the teacher escorted the boy to the principal’s office. The teacher sat the boy down in a chair in main office and talked with the staff. The boy received many glances of disapproval from staff while waiting outside the office for the principal. He was still soaked when he walked into the office and was offered a towel by the principal to drive off with. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she brought me here.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the principal.
“Purple Ivory.”
The principal reached for the phone and spoke quickly into the receiver. Moments latter a security officer pulled the boy from office as the principal said he was expelled and would not be allowed to return. The security officer threw the boy out of the front doors of the school. It was raining harder as the boy made his way back home. The boy’s mother was in the kitchen as he walked in though the back door. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she took me to the principal’s office. The principal expelled me from school after learning what happen.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the boy’s mother.
“Purple Ivory.”
The boy’s mother dropped the freshly backed cookies she just pulled from the oven and began to sob uncontrollably. All she could do was point upstairs and the boy knew he would have to wait for his father to come home. The boy’s father was concerned as he entered the boy’s room. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she took me to the principal’s office. The principal expelled me from school after learning what happen. I walked back home in the rain and explained things to mom and she sent me up here.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the boy’s father.
“Purple Ivory.”
The boy’s father walked slowly up to his son and grabbed him by the shirt collar pulling the boy out of the house. The boy was tossed into the front lawn as his father shut the door and locked it behind him. Two weeks passed before a priest found the boy sleeping behind some boxes behind the church. The boy was malnourished and obviously hadn’t showered in a while as he sat up. The man went inside and brought out a glass of water and a bite to eat. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school two weeks ago and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she took me to the principal’s office. The principal expelled me from school after learning what happen. I walked back home in the rain and explained things to mom and she sent me to my room. I then told my father and he kicked me out of the house.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the priest. The boy hesitated for a moment in telling the priest.
“Purple Ivory.”
The priest walked back inside the church and returned with a shotgun. The boy ran down the alley dodging shots and could hear the priest yelling versus behind him. 20 years went by and the boy had grown into a man surviving on handouts and moving from one shelter to another. After receiving a generous tip from washing a car window at a stop light the man walked into a local pub. The man sat at the bar and ordered a drink. Just before the drink arrived an elderly, out of work and over made-up prostitute sat down next to him. “Hi, Hun,” said the old whore as she took a puff on her cigarette, “You look like you’ve got a story to tell.”
The bartender set the drink in front of the man and took his money. “Lady, I just want to drink this in peace and be left alone.” He reached for the glass and took a sip of his beer.
“No,” said the old whore, “I think you have a hell of a story to tell.”
“Not mine. It brings nothing but trouble every time I tell it so I won’t be telling it to you.” The man took a drink of his beer.
“Come on. It can’t be all that bad.”
“No.”
The man than through back the last of his beer and stood from the bar stool. The old whore stopped the man from leaving and reached into her open shirt and pulled some cash from her sagging bra. “How ‘bout for another pint.”
The man paused for a moment than took the money and sat back down on the stool. The bartender filled another glass and took the man’s money again. The man took a sip and sighed as the old whore sat down next to him once again. “You give me the whole story and I’ll make sure that glass doesn’t empties. Now, what happened?”
“I was walking to school 20 years weeks ago and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she took me to the principal’s office. The principal expelled me from school after learning what happen. I walked back home in the rain and explained things to mom and she sent me to my room. I then told my father and he kicked me out of the house. Two weeks went by and a priest found me sleeping behind his church and after listening to my story he shot at me with a shotgun. A month later I had changed towns when-”
“Hold on,” interrupted the old whore. “What did the sign say?”
“I’m not telling you ‘cause that will just bring trouble again.” The man looked up at the bartender standing close by listening in as he wiped down a glass. The bartender moved to the far end of the bar after the old whore shot him a glance.
The old whore leaned in closer to the man and said, “Hun, I’ve seen more things in my life that I would rather forget than you ever will. I might be able to help you out. What did the sign say?” The man sighed and finished the last of his third beer. He looked around the bar and leaned in close to the old whore.
“Purple Ivory.”
The old whore smiled as she slapped the man on the back and started to laugh. “That’s it? That’s what you were afraid of telling me?”
“Damn it lady, tell me what it means!”
“Yeah, I’ll tell you but first you have to do me a quick favor.”
“Lady, after twenty years I’m willing to do anything. I mean anything!”
“Relax,” she laughed. She reached into her bra again and pulled out a dollar. “Take this and run across the street to the store there and by me some more smokes.” The man grabbed the money out of her hand and ran across the street to buy the cigarettes. On his way back across the street the man was hit by a bus and killed.
The lesson in this story is that cigarettes can kill you.
Written by Matt Walker
A story once told to me from another now forgotten.
On the way to the bus stop a boy saw in a neighbor’s yard a sign that read in large simple print, “Purple Ivory.” The boy passed the sign and stopped suddenly realizing he had no idea what the sign meant. He stared at the sign for a short while and without a solution he continued to the bus stop to wait for his morning ride to school.
Already waiting at the bus stop was the girl the boy had had a crush on for some time now. They said their hellos and chatted for awhile before the bus showed up. Just as the bus stopped the boy asked the girl about the sign he had seen earlier. He said, “I saw this sign earlier and I have no idea what it meant.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the girl.
“Purple Ivory.”
The bus doors opened and without warning she burst into tears and ran onto the bus screaming. Completely stunned the boy stood there before the open doors of the bus. The bus driver looked back at the still hysteric girl than looked down at the boy and ask what had happen. The boy snapped to attention and climbed onto the bus just as it was starting to rain. The bus driver stopped the boy at the top step and asked, “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked her about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the bus driver.
“Purple Ivory.”
The bus driver turned in his seat, lifted his leg and kicked the boy to the sidewalk. The boy landed in a puddle as the bus doors closed and the bus sped away. The rain was starting to get worse when the boy got up from the puddle and began walking to school. He arrived to class dripping wet when his teacher stopped him. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the teacher.
“Purple Ivory.”
The students in class gasped and the teacher escorted the boy to the principal’s office. The teacher sat the boy down in a chair in main office and talked with the staff. The boy received many glances of disapproval from staff while waiting outside the office for the principal. He was still soaked when he walked into the office and was offered a towel by the principal to drive off with. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she brought me here.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the principal.
“Purple Ivory.”
The principal reached for the phone and spoke quickly into the receiver. Moments latter a security officer pulled the boy from office as the principal said he was expelled and would not be allowed to return. The security officer threw the boy out of the front doors of the school. It was raining harder as the boy made his way back home. The boy’s mother was in the kitchen as he walked in though the back door. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she took me to the principal’s office. The principal expelled me from school after learning what happen.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the boy’s mother.
“Purple Ivory.”
The boy’s mother dropped the freshly backed cookies she just pulled from the oven and began to sob uncontrollably. All she could do was point upstairs and the boy knew he would have to wait for his father to come home. The boy’s father was concerned as he entered the boy’s room. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she took me to the principal’s office. The principal expelled me from school after learning what happen. I walked back home in the rain and explained things to mom and she sent me up here.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the boy’s father.
“Purple Ivory.”
The boy’s father walked slowly up to his son and grabbed him by the shirt collar pulling the boy out of the house. The boy was tossed into the front lawn as his father shut the door and locked it behind him. Two weeks passed before a priest found the boy sleeping behind some boxes behind the church. The boy was malnourished and obviously hadn’t showered in a while as he sat up. The man went inside and brought out a glass of water and a bite to eat. “What happened?”
“I was walking to school two weeks ago and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she took me to the principal’s office. The principal expelled me from school after learning what happen. I walked back home in the rain and explained things to mom and she sent me to my room. I then told my father and he kicked me out of the house.”
“What did the sign say?” asked the priest. The boy hesitated for a moment in telling the priest.
“Purple Ivory.”
The priest walked back inside the church and returned with a shotgun. The boy ran down the alley dodging shots and could hear the priest yelling versus behind him. 20 years went by and the boy had grown into a man surviving on handouts and moving from one shelter to another. After receiving a generous tip from washing a car window at a stop light the man walked into a local pub. The man sat at the bar and ordered a drink. Just before the drink arrived an elderly, out of work and over made-up prostitute sat down next to him. “Hi, Hun,” said the old whore as she took a puff on her cigarette, “You look like you’ve got a story to tell.”
The bartender set the drink in front of the man and took his money. “Lady, I just want to drink this in peace and be left alone.” He reached for the glass and took a sip of his beer.
“No,” said the old whore, “I think you have a hell of a story to tell.”
“Not mine. It brings nothing but trouble every time I tell it so I won’t be telling it to you.” The man took a drink of his beer.
“Come on. It can’t be all that bad.”
“No.”
The man than through back the last of his beer and stood from the bar stool. The old whore stopped the man from leaving and reached into her open shirt and pulled some cash from her sagging bra. “How ‘bout for another pint.”
The man paused for a moment than took the money and sat back down on the stool. The bartender filled another glass and took the man’s money again. The man took a sip and sighed as the old whore sat down next to him once again. “You give me the whole story and I’ll make sure that glass doesn’t empties. Now, what happened?”
“I was walking to school 20 years weeks ago and saw this sign and didn’t know what it meant. So I asked this girl about it and she freaked out then ran onto the bus. The bus driver asked me what had happen then he kicked me out of the bus and I had to walk to school in the rain. I arrived to class late soaking wet and when I told the teacher what had happen she took me to the principal’s office. The principal expelled me from school after learning what happen. I walked back home in the rain and explained things to mom and she sent me to my room. I then told my father and he kicked me out of the house. Two weeks went by and a priest found me sleeping behind his church and after listening to my story he shot at me with a shotgun. A month later I had changed towns when-”
“Hold on,” interrupted the old whore. “What did the sign say?”
“I’m not telling you ‘cause that will just bring trouble again.” The man looked up at the bartender standing close by listening in as he wiped down a glass. The bartender moved to the far end of the bar after the old whore shot him a glance.
The old whore leaned in closer to the man and said, “Hun, I’ve seen more things in my life that I would rather forget than you ever will. I might be able to help you out. What did the sign say?” The man sighed and finished the last of his third beer. He looked around the bar and leaned in close to the old whore.
“Purple Ivory.”
The old whore smiled as she slapped the man on the back and started to laugh. “That’s it? That’s what you were afraid of telling me?”
“Damn it lady, tell me what it means!”
“Yeah, I’ll tell you but first you have to do me a quick favor.”
“Lady, after twenty years I’m willing to do anything. I mean anything!”
“Relax,” she laughed. She reached into her bra again and pulled out a dollar. “Take this and run across the street to the store there and by me some more smokes.” The man grabbed the money out of her hand and ran across the street to buy the cigarettes. On his way back across the street the man was hit by a bus and killed.
The lesson in this story is that cigarettes can kill you.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
Too cold.
The weather in my town is all kinds of fucked up. After I got over the most of my cold from Monday I came to work on Tuesday and the temperature was minus 43 which would translate to freaking cold. On Tuesday it warmed up to minus 35. This would tell most people to stay in bed or move away and never come back but for whatever reason we live here still.
Happiness came on Wednesday when the temperature slowly rose from minus 15 to 10 above. People (mostly lower 48’ers) think you’re crazy when you tell them you’re glad that it’s minus 10. After experiencing a single day of below minus 30 temperatures, you too will understand the difference when it warms up to minus 10.
With this happiness came the thought of snowboarding and when the temperature was 15 on Thursday, the weekend starts looking very nice. The current temperature this morning is 7 and is expected to rise and stay around 5 to 15 degrees all weekend. When you live in a place that can get that cold you learn to love the teen temperatures as if it was summer.
With my snowboard freshly waxed last night I will be on the hill all weekend.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Cold sucks
I only had a cold for four days but it still sucks to lie around and not be doing anything. But what is worse; lying around during the week missing out of work and not getting paid or lying around over the weekend during your personal free time.
Either way it still sucks. I only missed one day of work (Monday) and all of my weekend but I felt like crap on Friday. It sucked missing Monday only because I knew it would have been an easy day and nothing really important was going on. It wasn’t so bad missing the weekend only because if had been well I still wouldn’t have gone out side. It was bellow minus 30 the entire weekend.
A cold weekend like this last is only well spent sitting at home reading or watching movies or television or playing your room mates game consol while he isn’t around! And I did just that. What I should have been doing was all my chores that I keep telling myself that I need to do. Like laundry, cleaning my room, working on the car or waxing my snowboard. But with a cold like this weekend brought, all motivation is lost. Hopefully I’ll get more done over the week or next weekend.
Friday, January 05, 2007
It is a new year.
The adventure that is life continues! I never needed a car for the years I spent in college. I got around mostly by bike or bus or just walked. I’ve been done with school for awhile now and the idea of a car continued to creep around in the back of my head for months. I tried to ignore it but it kept banging around back there.
Last month I decided to do something about my lack of transportation and I got myself a loan. That took some effort on my part considering I have loans still for school: More debt, wonderful. But now I had the loan and started shopping around. I looked at SUV’s and small cars and even a couple of trucks before I narrowed down what I really wanted out of a vehicle. I new I wanted something that could survive a Fairbanks, Alaska winter; something that could handle a load of gear (bikes, snowboards, maybe a kayak); still have room to hold a few people and something in my budget: $10K - $15K.
These options made me take a look at some mid-sized SUV’s. I looked at the Ford Escape, the Kia Sorento and the Mazda Tribute ranging from 2002-2005, mostly because this was what was available at the used car dealers in town. If you know anything about these cars you know that the Ford and the Mazda is practically the same car with interchangeable parts. The Kia has a stigma in the States of being an unreliable vehicle but my research gave me a good impression of the car. The stigma was mostly mid-‘90s thing.
Weeks went buy and I didn’t commit to anything. This was partly because I had some trouble getting rides to the dealers and one weekend of being sick. Finally winter break came around and my mother came up to visit me for X-mas. After the holiday I drove back down to
There I found a 2001 Subaru Forester in excellent condition with 68K miles. The car was very well taken care of and looked like it had barely been driven. It’s a smaller vehicle than the others but I felt comfortable with it during the test drive. The next day I bought it.
I have had it for a week now and it has been nothing but excellent. I changed all the fluids out, gave it new windshield wipers and installed a block and oil pan heater. I drove it down to Girdwood to go snowboarding with a friend in nearly white-out conditions, drove it all over Anchorage, back-and-forth from Peter’s Creek and drove 360 miles back up to Fairbanks.
My room mate insists on naming it Ginger since its red; I prefer Donna. I you have actually read this give me your suggestion for a name. Thanks.
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